Youllexpectnothing

I'm sorry that I'm too sensitive to do much for us, I can be a dog, guess that's a plus. To sleep. To eat. To lie down in the heat. Am I annoying you? I'm willing to be beat. It's who I am and I can't change that fact, I'm sorry I scream and shout when I'm stressed about the help I lack, it's not my fault you forsook your parental pact, should have expected this, I was bound to crack. Let's start at the top. Just because you're my pop doesn't mean I don't have problems that I can't stop. I'm a broken mess, is that too much to confess? Or are you already ready to say my problems are less? I'm a broken record in my head, everything I say has already been said. But you're too stuck up in your aged bed screaming that you're the reason I am kept fed. There's another thing. I'm too afraid to tell you that I'm a woman, not a man. This dysphoria keeps me hungry but that is the plan. But while you're too busy crying out about gran I sit here, still alive, in this famished land. Was too afraid

Black walls, black floor, No light, no door I stand alone, afraid of you I stand alone, afraid of who? Shadows fester in my wounds The ashes of my sanity like dunes I have no freedom in this place Hands soldered, knife to my waist I tremble at the smallest things Phobias shoot down my tattered wings Mind races a mile a second when I try to do things, now and then What will go wrong? What is in there? What will I do? I can only stare What if I fail? What if I bail? Am I a coward? I can only wail I’m a failure No, I can’t be! My mind’s a jailer It only lets me see That I’m a failure! That’s all I’ll ever be My mind’s a sailor My thoughts create the sea I can’t be honest now I can only bow Only he can be right What does he think of my fright? I can’t tell him I’m down Cause when he sees me frown Thunder booms in his voice And I don’t have a choice I lie to hide the black thoughts In reality, my stomach’s in knots My horrid fear of failure lurks It sits on my shoulders, it smirks It eats